New Beginnings

I’m so excited to start this new chapter. I love new beginnings, it opens a new door that was never really invisible. This week, I have two new beginnings to share with you!

The first and the most obvious one, is the new beginning on my blog! I’ve been thinking about self-hosting my blog for a while, but was always too scared about actually doing it. I have no knowledge about self-hosting and all the stuff that comes with it. In addition, I didn’t even know how to transport my blog from the .com version of WordPress to the .org version of WordPress. I did do some research, but with the non-existing knowledge about exporting and importing websites and all the selfhost options: I really didn’t know where to begin.

I found a website a few weeks ago with the most beautiful themes for WordPress. To my regret, they weren’t compatible with the .com version of WordPress. As stubborn as I am, I decided to buy the theme anyway and started thinking about selfhosting again. The website I found was PipDig and besides the beautiful themes, they offer a free upgrade from WordPress.com to selfhosting. All I had to do was buy a plan from the selfhosting company and buy a theme (which I already did). They handled the entire process for me and it couldn’t be easier for me.

I love how my new website is looking. I still need to figure some stuff out and do research about how everything works but I’m so excited about it. I finally have a blog that’s completely my own and yes, I need to do everything on my own what still scares me. But you know, I read once: ‘The best things in life scare you at first.’ And you know what, it’s true. It might scare me now, but I’ll figure it out and it will be one of the best adventures of my life! I’m all for self-development and I want to keep learning: this will be the best thing for me and my blog. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes but you learn from mistakes so it’s all going to be okay!! (I might be telling myself this but hey ho, it’s true)

I am currently writing this blogpost in my still-a-little-bit-empty new bedroom and I’ve made a sort-of blogging area in my room. Hopefully this will be my inspiration spot where I can write blogposts all night and day. It’s still a bit empty, I just moved here yesterday so there’s nothing on the walls yet. I do have one very lonely plant, and I can’t wait to buy some more plants and flowers to decorate my room.

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I used to be afraid of new beginnings or just new things in general. For some reason, I never wanted to try something new or go somewhere unknown. Not sure, but I think my study and friends might have had a positive impact on me. A year ago and a few months ago, I would do anything to escape something like this and I wouldn’t even have taken the plunge to go selfhosting and a year ago, I wouldn’t even have started this blog. I used to be so afraid about what other people thought of me and what they would like or find stupid. If they didn’t like it, I wouldn’t do it even if I really wanted to do it. This might have to do with my panic attacks, and I talked about these and how I cope with them in this blogpost: “How to deal with a panic attack.” I feel like the fear of a new panic attack used to hold me back in trying new things, because new things make me extremely anxious. But, you need to keep moving if you want to grow as a person and even decrease your anxiety!

Something changed in the last few months. I feel different since the Bali journey. The Bali journey was the first time where I did things I actually wanted to do, even if I was too scared to do it. I was too scared to go surfing because I didn’t know how to do it. It took some courage, but I did it and completely fell in love with it even though I had fallen in the water about a dozen times and was covered in bruises. I felt alive and I haven’t had that for a while. I’ve talked a bit about my surfing experience in The Bali & Singapore Diaries || Part 1

So now, I’m doing this because I want to do it. And yes, I do still value the opinion of my family and friends, but my own opinion is the most important one. Taking advice from friends and family is great and it’s good to listen to them: but listen to your own heart as well. I used to only listen to my head and not my heart, and I’m so much happier now that I’ve switched to listening to my heart as well. I can’t wait for the next adventures and start living the life I want to live!

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I’m almost at the beginning of my junior year of college and soon, I need to decide where I’m going to do my internship. To be honest, I really want to go abroad and live abroad for 5 months but I don’t want to go abroad ‘cause I want to go abroad, you know? I want to find a nice internship that fits my lifestyle and I want to really like the internship. And I, sadly, haven’t found one of those outside of the Netherlands. I have found a few in the Netherlands where my heart beat a little bit faster while reading them. So, I may not have the greatest adventure abroad from February – June but it’ll give me time to plan a great adventure in the summer time! And maybe I’ll find one great internship abroad in the near future.

Life has gotten so much nicer and more enjoyable now I’ve started caring about what I want and how I want to live my life and spend my time. Some people may say that blogging is not important, but it’s important to me so it matters to me. I might fall in love with a country or an internship that my family won’t approve of immediately, but that’s not going to stop me. New beginnings aren’t scary. New beginnings are exciting and the unknown might be scary. But, without new beginnings: life might not grow how you want it to. I have a quote that I really want to share with you:

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”

Love,

Melissa.

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