“Growing Up” Coffee Chat: Insecurities

I am almost 22-years old and people consider the 20+ people “adults”. My god, that word used to terrify me and to be honest: I still feel like a sixteen year-old sometimes. Growing up is fun, it’s an adventure but all the decisions and situations can be quite scary. I’ll be talking you through the process of growing up and all the hard stuff that may cross your path! This week: insecurities.

Insecurities. We all have them, don’t we? They can be our worst enemies at times, break our confidence and make us avoid certain situations. When I was a teen (and I still feel like one sometimes), I had lots of insecurities and looking back: I wish that they didn’t stop me from doing certain things I loved. We can get insecure about the things we are most passioned about, or get insecurities about our capabilities or body. What’s good to know is that, like I said, we all have them. You are not weird if you have an insecurity. It’s totally normal. But knowing this, it does not make it any easier.

Own Who You Are

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I still have insecurities and I am not sure I will ever be free of insecurities. To be fair, I do not believe in an insecurity-free life. And that’s not meant to be sad or demotivating, because insecurities have such a negative feeling so how about changing these insecurities into something more positive? The best way to accomplish this is by working on yourself and boosting your confidence.

Let’s talk about insecurities. I have always been quite insecure about my body because growing up changes the way you look: especially when you are a girl. Your hips get bigger, your butt gets bigger and your waist might grow. This used to be awful to me, because it felt like I was gaining weight while actually: my body type was changing. There’s nothing we can do about it and I have embraced my body type. As I mentioned in a previous blogpost: my shoulders are more broad than some girls’ shoulders. Was I insecure about it? Absolutely. Could I change anything about it? Absolutely not. I stopped caring about this, because it’s so useless to worry about these things while there’s nothing you can do about it.

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Another thing I used to love changed into an insecurity. That was writing. I used to love to write when I was a kid. Every day, I could spend hours writing long stories without ever having a writer’s block or a day without inspiration. This changed when I was about sixteen years old and my imagination magically disappeared. I couldn’t write anymore: not even a great sentence, for years and years. However, my love never went away but it did become an insecurity. March 2018 was the time I decided to stop with this insecurity and started working to change it. It’s the month where I started my blog. Is it perfect? No. Does writing come easy to me every day or every week? No. Do I have lots of fun writing and working on my blog? YES!!

Sunflower

One of the most important things in life is having fun. Life is so short. We should not be too hard on ourselves. It does not have to be perfect as long as you are having fun. Stop criticizing your work, stop criticizing your body and stop criticizing your capabilities. One of my favourite flower is the sunflower, because they always look at the sun. Stop looking at the negative aspects and focus on the positive.

Another thing important to realize is that most people won’t even recognize your insecurities. My broad shoulders is something I used to be super aware of, but I never had someone tell me that I have broad shoulders or have had any comment about it. If you’d see me, you wouldn’t immediately see that I have broad shoulders. Sure, they are different but there is not a single body type in the world that’s the same.

As a final note: don’t ever let insecurities stop you from doing what you love. Don’t let them win. I wish I had started going back into writing sooner and not wait five years before trying it again because I was too scared. It doesn’t mean I’m confident about my writing. It means I won’t let it stop me from doing what I love. As many things in life, practice makes perfect. We make mistakes. We learn. It’s the learning curve in life and let’s embrace it.

Love,

Melissa.

 

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